By Ollus Ndomu
By: Ollus Ndomu
The idea that men cannot or should not express emotions stands among the most pervasive notions, especially here in Africa . There is a long-standing social norm that men are supposed to be stoic, strong, and in control of their feelings. This false ideal often leaves men feeling that they must hide their emotions and never show weakness. This is not only counterproductive to a man’s emotional wellbeing, but it also serves to invalidate men’s experiences.
The notion that men should never cry has been around for hundreds of years. Even today, it’s seen by many as a sign of weakness in men to express any sort of vulnerability. It’s seen as a source of shame or embarrassment to allow emotions to show, particularly in public. Men then often feel they must bottle up their emotions and deny their existence. Not only is this mentality damaging to men as it stifles their ability to process and feel their emotions, it is also both outdated and rooted in gender bias.
The truth is that men have the same emotional capacity as women and should not be shamed for expressing it. Being emotionally vulnerable doesn’t make a man any less strong or resilient; it simply means he is comfortable with expressing himself openly and honestly. A man should not feel ashamed for crying, as being able to access and process emotions is essential for our mental wellbeing.
In addition, research even suggests that men need to cry more often. Studies have found that by suppressing their emotions and avoiding moments of sadness and distress, men are actually putting their physical and mental health at risk. Crying has a hugely beneficial effect on our bodies and minds, releasing stress and lowering the risk of long-term depression.
When it comes to displaying emotion, it is important to remember that a man can cry without being seen as weak. In fact, expressing emotions in an appropriate manner is actually a sign of strength. Everyone, regardless of gender, needs to be able to access their feelings and be allowed to process them in a safe and supportive environment.
Society needs to move away from outdated ideals that suggest that men should never show emotion and recognize that male expression of emotion is just as valid and valuable as female expression. Men don’t need to suffer in silence anymore; they should be encouraged and even supported to express their feelings, just like women. It is essential for men to feel safe in allowing themselves to be vulnerable and to stop believing that crying equates to weakness. Catch you next week with yet another exciting topic!
