By: Chinyanta Nkonde
Quote “your desire to be a good wife is blinding you from your need to being a better woman,” Mastering the art of singleness
Please note that before you are anybody’s wife, you are a woman first. What this means is that you can’t skip to being a better wife when you are struggling to be a good woman.
With the growing social platforms of people sharing their highlighted reels of beautiful relationship moments, engagement proposals and tieing the knot, there are so many celebrations associated with relationships these days. From engagement parties, to bridal showers, baby shower parties, and all the photo shoots that come with those events, making being single seem like a sad reality to live in.
For some reason(s), many people hate the idea of singlehood, they feel like there is only happiness when one is in a relationship. This makes them miss the sight of actually growing themselves and even overcoming their past traumas.
There’s so much value in being single that people often overlook, when we should be embracing and appreciating it instead. When you’re not legally bound to another person, you have the freedom to learn, grow, and explore, without any of the guilt associated with taking time for self-care. The payoff is that if you do decide you’d like to pair off with someone, you know exactly who you are and what you want.
Is being single better than being in a relationship?
That’s a tricky question, because of course there’s no right answer. “With either choice, there are advantages and drawbacks, so this depends on what your current priorities as well as values are.
“Many people fall into the trap of listening to what society or others think is best for them, rather than listening to themselves when it comes to making this choice.” If you’re happy being single, do not change that, just because you’re experiencing societal (or social media) pressure to be in a relationship.
If your current relationship isn’t making you happy, don’t stay because you feel like you have to be paired up. And if you love the idea of being in a committed partnership, by all means, find your person.
But the most important thing, really, is that if you’re hoping to have a happy relationship with a long-term partner in the future, you have to learn how to be happy being single first. You have to love yourself before you can let someone else love you.
No partner “completes” you. You need to be a whole, happy person on your own before sharing your life with someone else.
Being single requires clarity for why you want to to be. And it requires that clarity and strength especially when things get fuzzy and you’re beginning to wonder what’s the point of waiting on love or living even. It’s like you have to hold your own hand and pull yourself out of the mud.
Despite this, the biggest satisfaction of being single is that you know you aren’t compromising your life by spending it with someone you don’t want to, or deserve to.
